As I contemplate the mystery of love as a community of love, creating us in the image and likeness of love, to go out in love, and be the presence of love, I am humbled beyond words.  I must in thanksgiving surrender with joy.

“The dawn intimates that the night is over; it does not yet proclaim the full light of day. While it dispels the darkness and welcomes the light, it holds both of them, the one mixed with the other, as it were. Are not all of us who follow the truth in this life daybreak and dawn? While we do some things which already belong to the light, we are not free from the remnants of darkness. In Scripture the Prophet says to God: No living being will be justified in your sight. Scripture also says: In many ways all of us give offense.”

From the Moral Reflections on Job by Saint Gregory the Great, pope

It was thee years ago today that I posted about measuring time with love.  This year, I suffered an arm injury in March which has given me the opportunity to slow down and reflect more deeply upon these measurements of time in my life and in the lives of others.  Sometimes the love is laced with joy, other times with sadness, but the measurements remain unmistakenly and essentially experiences of love.

One year ago today was a day that I took such a measurement, and grappled with my limited ability to glimpse dimly the wisdom of God, which so far exceeds my own.  What I wrote on Facebook that day I needed to remind myself of today, in light of people and situations That are currently in my prayers.  I am tempted to lose my faith that God hears me and answers my prayers, although not always the way I want.  Here is what I wrote:

I prayed for a miracle and a complete healing for Bart. I know that you are still in the miracle business Lord, so why didn’t you do what I wanted? I will never completely understand the mystery of how you actually did, and continue to, answer my prayer in a way more perfectly than I can imagine. I begin to see through my grief that Bart is completely healed indeed and that you have strengthened the bonds of love and faith for those who remain here in the pain of his passing. Help me Lord to hear you and make that hearing my heart’s desire, and never lose faith because your wisdom does not conform to my wishes.

” O Truth, you are present to those who seek your help, and at one and the same time you answer all, though they seek your counsel on different matters. You respond clearly, but not everyone hears clearly. All ask what they wish, but do not always hear the answer they wish. Your best servant is he who is intent not so much on hearing his petition answered, as rather on willing whatever he hears from you.”  -From the Confessions of Saint Augustine

A friend of mine once told me, refusing to forgive is like drinking a bottle of poison and expecting the other person to die.

The antidote is to forgive.  But, I know how hard taking that medicine can be.  The greater the wrong the harder the task.  But, we must open that door because only by going through it, will our own healing begin.

Don’t expect it to be like flicking a switch.  If you feel like you cannot forgive what another person has done, you are probably right, at least for today. So ask God to forgive them because you can’t. 

Do this every time you feel anger or bitterness toward that person.  But, do one other thing as well.  You must ask for the grace to be able to forgive them yourself, someday with God’s help.

It took a long time but, it worked for me. There are still days that the old anger resurfaces, and on those days, because of long practice, I immediately turn to prayer for the one who harmed my family and smiled.

They say you can’t rush perfection, good things come to those who wait, and patience is a virtue.  All are cliches that have to do with time.  It is hard to emulate attitudes like that in an instant gratification society.  But hey, Rome wasn’t built in a day you know, and neither is any other major undertaking.  I would say that your spiritual life and the life of the church come under that umbrella.

Listen to this reflection entitled “Living Stones”  recorded in St Joseph Church, Fredonia for the Fifth Sunday of Easter, Cycle A.

I don’t know what tomorrow holds or if I will live to see it but, I do know God will be there and in that truth I trust and have courage.

Our prayer journey is a mysterious and deeply intimate communication  with God.  Like snowflakes each prayer, as well as entire journey, is different and carried by the Spirit. Unlike snowflakes however our prayer begins from earth and rises to heaven, until it comes to rest in the heart of the one who gave us the ability to pray at all.

If you believe or that there is even a possibility that Jesus meant what he said about the Eucharist, then you are called to participate in the celebration of the Lord’s Supper.  Go to Mass as often as you can.  Avail yourself of the Sacraments.  I promise the priest will not judge you if you ask him to hear your confession.  There is so much grace waiting for you if you would just come to the church and ask.

Unless you seek to know the truth their is no reason to read this.  The truth is not always pretty and it certainly isn’t easy.  Especially if you buy into the prevailing winds of what passes for wisdom in this world.  But the truth is ultimately the only thing that sets our feet on the right path and brings us life in a way we can never experience without it.

Pope Francis focused upon that truth in his homily for Palm Sunday when he said…

“Jesus, who accepts the hosannas of the crowd, knows full well that they will soon be followed by the cry: “Crucify him!” He does not ask us to contemplate him only in pictures and photographs, or in the videos that circulate on the internet. No. He is present in our many brothers and sisters who today endure sufferings like his own: they suffer from slave labour, from family tragedies, from diseases… They suffer from wars and terrorism, from interests that are armed and ready to strike. Women and men who are cheated, violated in their dignity, discarded… Jesus is in them, in each of them, and, with marred features and broken voice, he asks to be looked in the eye, to be acknowledged, to be loved.  

It is not some other Jesus, but the same Jesus who entered Jerusalem amid the waving of palm branches. It is the same Jesus who was nailed to the cross and died between two criminals. We have no other Lord but him: Jesus, the humble King of justice, mercy and peace.”

Look Jesus in the eye.  Do not ignore him.  Ask questions, and dig deeper into the question of why he suffers and how you an I are complicit in causing or allowing his suffering to continue.  Pray for the grace and wisdom to see more truth than you you did before you read this, and for the conversion of your mind and heart which will lead you to change for good.

Our Lord Jesus Christ, the Son of God… prays for us as our priest, he prays in us as our head, he is the object of our prayers as our God. Let us then recognize both our voice in his, and his voice in ours.

From a commentary on the psalms by Saint Augustine, bishop. (Ps. 85, 1: CCL 39, 1176)